Texas Hold Up

OK. This little story of mine is starting to turn into a complete 5 season 100 part episode of a mid-day soap. Its really been awhile and I need to get something off my chest.

Before shipping the car back to KL, I made the bold move to get it transported to Texas (from Denver where it was registered) given that the shop owner in KL (lets call him 'BAC', for his fine skills of manipulating one's BACkside as some claim and for lack of a more imaginative word) had a contact that he used in shipping American car parts to him. Apparently, said contact was well versed in the fine arts of all things automotive, and was ideal in helping get the car's mechanicals worked on, seeing that the talent in KL "wouldn't know where to start". BAC said that his contact was also going to give my engine bay show quality detailing and being the owner of a relatively rare 80s Z28 CCam in KL, I stuffed caution into my tiny tight back pocket and bought in lock stock and barrel.

Don't get me wrong. BAC sure knows his stuff, and he can make you trip over yourself when it comes to what can be done to add more ponies under your hood, and how to keep 'em neighing happily. And I may be the biggest sucker this side of the boondocks, but I still have faith that under the right circumstances, BAC would actually be able to deliver. He's got passion for cars, he's invested his time and his life into his shop, he knows the difference between an IRS & a monoshock system, AND he owns a relatively rare 80s Z28 CCam, if I haven't already mentioned it.

So BAC volunteers to mediate the transaction, and undertakes full responsibility over all work done by his contact. Also volunteers to take my money and remit as necessary to the contact. Fine young man. Not someone you find everyday in KL.

Its only mid way through the project, and after I make a sizeable payment for the parts, that I start smelling some rotten tuna (a species of fish that accurately represents this situation that would normally solicit the chinese exclamation 'tuna ma chao hai'). Pictures of the project and its parts sent over the email are on another car or googled from the net. Reports are coming in slow. And when the pictures do come in, you start scratching your head on why they look different from the earlier ones received (duh!). You also start seeing that there are cultural differences in understanding the concept of show quality detailing.

That ain't mine!

That sure ain't mine too!

Spin doctors. All of them. Anywhere you go in the world. Pride and integrity in what they do in the more developed world? Kiss my ass.

This is an extract from BAC's email and the specs promised.

"Here is the final list.. this is direct from Texas I never touched anything so.. will need you to come in and discuss our part of the deal and additional charges for money handling etc..

let me know and I can write it up in time.

ENGINE BUILD UP 390-425 hp SHOW QUALITY & DETAILING
summit heads 2.02 valves .520 springs
comp cam .515 lift ,HYD lifters
roller chain , hv oil pump
new edelbrock carb
new wiand intake , polished or chrome if needed
chrome rocker covers , gm
new bearings, seals trw
recut crank10/10
recond rods , add arp bolts
sfi flywheels tci
new water pump
new ps pump
new headers coated jet hot , shortys
roller tip rockers comp cams
new hei ign w/ 50k volt coil
mallory 8mm wires
accell plugs
block vated and cleaned , new freeze plugs
chrome timing cover
chrome alt bracket, other misc chrome as needed
all machine work ,

TRANS, BETTER THAN JEGS OR SUMMIT RACING
overhaul trans th350 good for 500 hp
shift kit w/ extra clutches for hp engine
2500 stall converter , or other if needed 2000- 3500
new lines or hoses

COOLING/A/C,
complete custom a/c unit installed all new , comp , dryer, lines, ducts,condenser,
remove vat / clean radiator and recondition , repl if needed w/ 4 row
repl all coolant hoses , heater hoses , belts

REAR AXLE AND SHAFTS
rebuild center unit w/ new clutches , and your choice of gear ratio , new bearings 3.73 3.55
repl all u joints x6 & ballance drive shaft

BRAKES
repl booster
repl hoses
repl 4 calipers
new pads on 4 corners
recut rotors or repl if needed
repack bearings, repl all axle seals
repl master cyl
repl 4 shocks and bushings as needed

THIS WOULD MAKE A TURN KEY CAR ROAD OR TRACK READY

TOTAL PARTS & LABOR US$13250 ., MAJORITY OF COST IS PARTS . , THIS INCLUDES ALL LUBES, REPAIRING WIRING UNDER HOOD , ADD US$450 FOR COMPLETE CUSTOM EXHAUST W/ MUFFLERS, YOUR CHOICE OF LOUDNESS . FLOWMASTER , BORLA , ETC .

Thanks,

XXXXX"

Man. I kick myself everyday now for getting sucked into classic sales shpiel. But to be fair, while I have the benefit of looking back and knowing what has not been honoured, I also am on the verge of finding out further what has been, once I start stripping the car apart for the rest of the process.

Want to know how I've been buttplugged?

Stay tuned. After all, the story will probably end after season 10.